I’m actually quite embarrassed about this post because I can’t tell you how to make this cake. I can tell you what tools and ingredients to use but then I’m afraid I will shake your hand, tip my beret and send you on your merry way.
As usual, Pinterest got the better of me when I came across ‘chalkboard cakes’. How stunning are they! And seriously, how hard can it be? I mean there’s no gel writing or piping that requires a university degree – I’m giving this a red hot go.
I don’t deny that my version looks pretty cool but I can assure you after many years of getting my panic attacks under control, this SOB nearly brought them back with vigour. Sure, it’s all party in the front but is it business in the back? No, No – it’s the day after the party in the back; it’s the worst hangover you have ever had up there in the back. I should have taken a photo but that would have ruined the mystique (much like this blog post is doing).
Unless you are very experienced with fondant icing (and I have to say when I told cake decorator extraordinaire Brodie from The Hungry Babushka I was making a fondant cake she said ‘yeah? good luck with that’ and attached that emoji that basically says ‘you ignorant fool, thinkin’ you can just whip out a fondant like *snaps fingers* that’.)
And you know what else? Black fondant is the devil’s fondant. That shiz gets everywhere – I swear I found some in my car this morning. Most definitely some in my hair. HOWEVER pre-made black fondant is a God send given the alternative, leave it to the professionals or end up looking like a Pilbara miner. Any cake supplier worth their salt should stock this and it’s about twelve bucks.
I used a packet cake mix and really, should have just used a cylindrical bit of Styrofoam because same same. I made ganache on Saturday night and left it out ready to use on Sunday but given the arctic conditions of my kitchen, I could have chiseled the Statue of David out of it in graphic detail. For Godsake get yourself some fondant smoothing paddles – the knife in this cake is hiding a multitude of sins of the enormous thumb print variety.
I’m led to believe that there is edible chalk somewhere in the world (and 6 year old me would say all chalk is edible – I was one of those kids – but mix together white petal dust and lemon essence for some pretty legit looking chalk. Not too much, like a quarter teaspoon of each. The Artist in Residence is responsible for the typography and background.
Is this the worst blog post you’ve ever read? I think not – in fact, I would say it’s packed full of sage advice. I came across this place – Australian Cake Decorating Network. Get on board, find a class and make a cake that is all party and no hangover.
Back to the drawing board.